Lighting Sabbath and Chanukah Lights

Is it not the law that an unmarried woman may not kindle the Sabbath lights? (From Mrs. M. K., Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania)

There are many households in which the mother has died and an unmarried daughter kindles the Sabbath lights. I have seen no law or hint of a custom to the effect that an unmarried daughter may not kindle the Sabbath lights. Perhaps this idea came from the custom whereby women, after they blessed the lights, would make special supplications, among which were prayers to be blessed with worthy children who would study the Torah, which is symbolized by light. “The commandment is a lamp, and the Torah is light” (Proverbs 6 : 23).

This custom of praying for worthy children while kindling the Sabbath lights is in turn based upon the Talmud (b. Sabbath 23b), where Rav Huna said that he who is conscientious about the Sabbath lights will have worthy sons. He noticed that Rav Abin busied himself with the lights and said that he would have noble sons.

But while this prayer for children may accompany the lighting of the Sabbath lights, it is not the purpose of the ceremony, and therefore there is no reason on that ground for an unmarried woman not to kindle the lights.

The question indicates that there is a widespread idea that only the mother of the household may light the Sabbath lights. There is a similar impression that the father of the household must light the Chanukah lights. Perhaps it would be useful, therefore, to make it clear who may light the Sabbath and also the Chanukah lights.

The duty of lighting the Sabbath lights rests primarily, but not exclusively, upon women. The Mishnah (Shabbas II : 6) counts this as one of the three commandments especially enjoined upon women. The Shulchan Aruch (Orah Hayyim 263 : 3) states the law clearly and explains it as follows: “Women are especially commanded as to the Sabbath lights because they are at home and tend to household matters.”

However, it is made clear (in #2) that both men and women are enjoined to make sure that the lights are kindled. The primary duty rests upon the woman. Nevertheless, travelers and students are expected to light the lights in their lodging places (#6). The law, then, is that both sexes share in the obligation to be sure that the lights are lit. The woman should light them, but if she is ill the man may do so; or, if the man is away from home he must light them where he lodges.

With regard to Chanukah lights, the situation seems to be substantially the reverse: The primary obligation apparently rests upon the man, but women share the obligation.

The laws on the Chanukah lights are codified in Shulchan Aruch, Orah Hayyim 671. The master of the house lights the Chanukah lights; however, the custom is that lights are provided for all members of the household. The special obligation of the man is seen in the custom of the Sephardim (cf. Responsa Kenesses Ezekiel #17), which is as follows: All the members of the household light a light, but only the master’s candelabrum increases light by light as the days of Chanukah advance. But among Ashkenazim, everyone’s menorah is increased day by day. Minors are in duty bound to kindle the lights if they are old enough to be school children (677 : 3). Women are specifically designated as obligated because they participated in the original miracle of Chanukah (675 : 4). In commenting on the law, Abraham Gombiner (Magen Avraham, ad loc.) says that this means the woman may perform this duty, not only for herself but for the entire household.

The law concerning Sabbath lights and Chanukah lights may be summed up as follows: The Sabbath lights are the primary duty of women, the Chanukah lights the duty of men, but both men and women may light them, and in the case of Chanukah lights, children too.