Qaddish

See Convert

ARR 380-383

CCAR RESPONSA

American Reform Responsa

120. Standing During Recital of Kaddish

(Vol. XXIV, 1914, pp. 152-153)

The question of the propriety of standing during the recital of the mourner’s Kaddish must be answered from the viewpoint of the Kaddish in general. The mourner’s Kaddish had its origin in early Talmudic, if not pre-Talmudic times, as can be seen in the Testament of Abraham, Version A, XIV (see Jewish Encyclopedia, s.v. “Kaddish”), according to which Abraham is the author of the Kaddish Yatom (cf. also Tobit IV:17, and my Toledot Ha-ikarim I, 80). But this was only in connection with the Birkat Avelim in the first week of mourning (Soferim XIX.12: “Umotse sham ha-avelim…ve-omer aleihem beracha, ve-achar kach omer Kaddish”). The Kaddish of the mourner during the first year is a late institution, first introduced about the 12th century in Germany, and from all that I can see, the mourner was regarded as the substitute for the Chazan.

Now there is a controversy whether the congregation should rise for every Kaddish or only for special ones. (Cf. Rambam, Yad, Hil. Tefila IX.1,5,8; Sh.A., Orach Chayim, Hil. Berachot 53.1; Turei Zahav, 1 and 56; 1 Haggah, and Magen Avraham 4). This controversy has never been authoritatively decided, and the minhag varies according to the countries and congregations (in Poland the congregation remains seated; in Bohemia it rises). But there is no doubt that the Chazan should always recite the Kaddish standing. Consequently, the mourner, who is considered the substitute of the Chazan, should also stand. In some congregations, only one of the mourners (according to the established order of precedence) is admitted to the front row to recite the Kaddish aloud, while the rest of the mourners repeat silently or in a low voice. In our Reform congregations, where the rabbi recites the Kaddish and the mourners repeat silently, none of them evidently can be considered a substitute for the Chazan. Nevertheless, it is evident that the old idea of the mourner reciting the Kaddish before the congregation still exists, and this minhag should be continued, except in rare cases where there is definite and sufficient reason for not doing so.

Can a Distinction Be Made Between the Dead?

If this question refers to the preceding, I would suggest that the mourners stand at all recitals of the Kaddish for the dead, for whom mourning is a legal duty (viz., relative in the first degree). If this question is general, I refer to Yoreh De-a, Hil. Avelut, where certain distinctions are set forth as the established din and minhag.

The Educational Value of Yahrzeit

The Yahrzeit as a permanent institution in connection with the recital of Kaddish appears first in Germany about the 14th century, but since it goes back to an ancient practice known in Talmudic literature (“Taanit beyom shemet bo aviv ve-imo,”Nedarim), and since its good influence is evident in manifold ways, I would strongly favor its retention as far as possible.

In addition, as chairman of the committee, I would say that while much may be adduced in favor of the individual mourner’s rising for the Kaddish as the outflow of the soul, longing for comfort to be found in submission to God’s will, in conformity with tradition–there is also a consideration for, and a sense of sympathy with, the mourner expressed by the whole congregation rising for Kaddish, wherever it is introduced. The decision of the question must therefore be left to the congregation.

In general, I would here refer to the ancient Rabbinical dictum, “Mitoch shelo lishmah ba lishmah,” “A good practice, even if not done for its own sake, but for some less spiritual motive, should still be encouraged, since it may eventually lead to a more spiritual view,” because it applies to the so-called “KaddishJew,” who attends divine service only in honor of his dead parents. While religion is not merely piety, nevertheless, filial piety shown by the mourners may in the end lead to a more permanently religious attitude.

K. Kohler

NOTE:

In some Reform congregations the traditional custom has been continued of having all mourners who desire to do so–men and women alike–rise for the Kaddish. We concur in Dr. Kohler’s judgment, appended to the 1914 responsum above, that there is no reason to press for discontinuing that custom. But it is clear that in a large number of congregations, the custom has grown and flourished to have the entire congregation rise and recite the Kaddish as a community. The original reason for the institution of this custom was to provide a sense of unity and community support for the mourners. Tragically, a second reason has evolved. The Holocaust makes mourners out of all Jews, and that ongoing sense of loss is expressed through the congregation’s rising and unison recitation of the Kaddish.

Responsa Committee (1980)

If needed, please consult Abbreviations used in CCAR Responsa.

ARR 377-379

 

CCAR RESPONSA

 

American Reform Responsa

 

118. Kaddish

(1980)

QUESTION: What is the origin of the Kaddish? For what length of time should the surviving family recite Kaddish? For whom is it obligatory to recite Kaddish?

ANSWER: The most frequently recited prayer of the traditional synagogue service is the Kaddish. It was originally not a prayer commemorating the dead, but a great doxology which served as a way of separating various segments of the service (Ismar Elbogen, Der Juedische Gottesdienst in seiner geschichtlichen Entwicklung, 1924, pp. 92ff). It was also used at the conclusion of segments of the study of Rabbinic literature, and only later became a prayer recited at the burial service.

Originally, the Kaddish was recited as the congregational response to a sermonic discourse with the main emphasis on the words “Yehe Shemeh Rabba…” (Sota 49a), and so the Talmud knew the Kaddish by these words (“May His great name be praised”). It seems, therefore, that the origin of the Kaddish lies in Beit Midrash (house of study) rather than in the synagogue (J. Heinemann, Hatefila Bitkufat Hatana-im Veha-emora-im, p. 173, and “The Background of Jesus’ Prayer in the Jewish Liturgy,” The Lord’s Prayer and Jewish Liturgy, ed. J. Petuchowski and M. Brocke, pp. 81ff).

The first connection between the Kaddish and the mourner came about in the following fashion: At the conclusion of the Musaf service on Shabbat, the leader of the congregation would comfort the mourners and then recite the Kaddish (Soferim 19.12). However, we do not find the Kaddish recited by mourners themselves till the 13th century (Machzor Vitry, ed. Horvitz, p. 74). Isaac Or Zarua stated that this was customary in Bohemia and the Rhineland, but not in France (Or Zarua, 754). The practice of reciting Kaddish for the dead may have been influenced by a medieval Midrash which stated that such a prayer could help the soul after death (Seder Eliyahu Zuta, ed. Friedmann, p. 23, note 52; Menorat Hama-or 1.1).

It became customary to recite the Kaddish for an entire year following death, as the Talmud stated that the piety of a son could help the deceased father or grandfather (Sanh. 104a); therefore, sons were to be instructed to say the Kaddish properly (Sefer Chasidim, ed. Margolis, 722). It was felt that the tortures of the nether world could last twelve months (Mishna, Eduyot II.10; R.H. 17a). Both thoughts together led to the recital of the Kaddish by a son for twelve months (Kol Bo, 114). Eventually, that custom was changed to a recital of only eleven months, as the Mishna just cited asserted that the wicked are judged for a year, and no one wished to imply that his/her parents were wicked (Isserles to Shulchan Aruch, Yoreh De-a 376.4; Aruch Hashulchan, 376.15). Most Reform congregations have rejected this line of reasoning and returned to a recital of the Kaddish for twelve months (Gates of Mitzvah, p. 62).

At first, only a son recited Kaddish for his dead father, but, according to Ashkenazic custom, a daughter was similarly permitted to recite Kaddish (Chavat Chemed, 60). Isserles stated that in some places it was customary to recite Kaddish for all of one’s dead kin (to Shulchan Aruch, Yoreh De-a, 376.4). Certainly, this would extend to the seven relatives for whom one would observe mourning. They are: father, mother, brother, sister, son, daughter, and husband or wife (Lev. 21:2 provided a primary list which was expanded in Mo-ed Katan 20b; Shulchan Aruch, Yoreh De-a, 374.4). Some would extend this list even further, and, certainly, we could agree that it may be so extended as prompted by individual feelings. We would include scholars or people who had particular influence on an individual’s life.

In some communities it has become customary for the entire congregation to stand and recite the Kaddish in commemoration of the martyrs of the Holocaust. Kaddish for the dead should be recited at daily services at the synagogue whenever such services are held on a regular basis, privately at home, or at the weekly synagogue services, for a period of twelve months (Isserles to Sh.A., Yoreh De-a, 376.4).

Traditionally, the recitation of Kaddish has required a Minyan (Shulchan Aruch, Orach Chayim, 55.1), as public prayer was preferred over private prayer (Sh.A., Orach Chayim 90.9). It

emphasized the presence of the Shechina in a community of worshippers. During the period of mourning, the presence of a congregation will help overcome sorrow. By reciting Kaddish in a congregation, “we declare the merit of those whose parting we mourn, that they have instilled in us loyalty to God and devotion to His service and the serene acceptance of His Will, so that in the presence of the congregation when we think of the departed, we praise God’s Name in serenity of heart” (S.B. Freehof, Reform Jewish Practice, vol. I, p. 170). It is for this reason that friends of the family will join in a service (with or without a Minyan) at the house of mourning during the Shiv-a (Gates of Mitzvah, pp. 62ff). The year of regular Kaddish recital begins with these services.

The prayer–as a doxology–praises God, and thereby lets the mourner reaffirm his faith in God despite all that has happened. It has become a prayer which expresses acceptance, loyalty, and devotion to God, and as such has become part of every Jewish service throughout the world. The Kaddish may, therefore, be appropriately repeated by all at any and every service; and any worshiper may stand during its recital. This is especially appropriate if done in commemoration of the Holocaust. Through this prayer, we express sorrow for unknown martyrs who have died and sympathy toward friends who have suffered bereavement.
Walter Jacob, Chairman

Leonard S. Kravitz

Eugene Lipman

W. Gunther Plaut

Harry A. Roth

Rav A. Soloff

Bernard Zlotowitz

 

If needed, please consult Abbreviations used in CCAR Responsa.

ARR 387-390

CCAR RESPONSA

American Reform Responsa

123. A Proselyte Reciting Kaddish for Deceased Parents

(Vol. LXV, 1955, pp. 90-91)QUESTION: A woman of my congregation, who had been officially converted to Judaism, requested that the names of her deceased parents be read before the Kaddish, on the occasion of the Yahrzeit. A member of my Board desired to know whether traditional law would favor such a practice.ANSWER: To the Rabbinic view of the proselyte and his parentage, there are two aspects–a theoretical and a practical one. Theoretically, the convert is a new-born babe. The old self has been replaced by a new self (Yevamot 48a). In practice, however, when confronted by a real situation, the Rabbis flung their theory aside. They permitted a proselyte to exercise the right of inheritance upon the death of his parents (Demai 6.10). They also imposed upon the proselyte the obligation to honor his natural parents, holding him responsible for any misconduct toward them (Yoreh De-a 241). The Rabbis, it would seem, had too keen a sense of the real and the practical to follow slavishly their own theories. There is no good reason, therefore, why we should not be as realistic and practical as the Rabbis of old and permit the converted woman to give full expression to her filial sentiment and obligation.Israel Bettan

If needed, please consult Abbreviations used in CCAR Responsa.

CARR 185-186

CCAR RESPONSA

Contemporary American Reform Responsa

123. Incest and Parental

Responsibilities

QUESTION: What is the duty of young parents toward

their dying father who was guilty of incest with his granddaughter? This tragic incident occurred

four years ago. Both the family and the youngster have been helped psychologically in the

interval. Are the parents required to recite qaddish and in any other way honor him or his

memory?ANSWER: The question which you have asked is, of course, especially

tragic as family ties and many early childhood memories have been permanently destroyed. The

obligation of children toward an evil parent has been discussed since Talmudic times; a division

of opinion is found in some discussions, which are incidental to other matters (Yeb. 22a f; B. K.

94b; San. 85a; Kid 32a). By medieval times there was a clear division of opinion between

Maimonides and Alfasi on the one hand, and the exegetes of Northern France (Rashi and the

Tosafists) on the other. Maimonides and Alfasi felt that the obligation of children to honor their

parents was biological and had nothing to do with the moral status of the parents (Yad Hil.

Mamrin 6.8 ff; Alfas to Yeb. 22b). Rashi and Rabenu Tam felt that honor depended on the moral

status of the parent and a wicked parent need not be honored (Commentaries to Yeb. 22b; San.

85b; Mak. 12b). In each of these instances the medieval authorities dealt with parents who were

considered absolutely wicked and not individuals who had sinned in a minor way (Maimonides

Sefer Hahinukh 48; Moses of Coucey S’mag Lo Taaseh 219; Yad Hil.

Malveh Veloveh 4.4). In the medieval period, such individuals, of course, included apostates

(David Hakohen Responsa Radak Bayit 11.1 -2). The Shulhan

Arukh continued this division of opinion, so Caro insisted that honor due to a parent was

biological, while Isserles felt that it is dependent upon the moral status of the parents

(Shulhan Arukh Yoreh Deah 240.18, 241.4). In the final analysis tradition would require

qaddish even for convicted criminals (see “Reciting Qaddish for a Convicted

Criminal”) as death brought atonement and qaddish added to such atonement (San. 44a,

56a, 104a). As you have asked specifically about qaddish, we must ask what

additional purpose it serves in our age. We normally recite qaddish in order to overcome

our sorrow and to make us feel at peace again with God and the world around us (see W. Jacob,

American Reform Responsa, #117). In this instance, upon the father’s death it will not

only be necessary to make peace with religious feelings about God, but also with the feelings

toward the father and the memories of the past. The recital of the qaddish should help in

this regard. Therefore, despite all personal bitterness and the division of opinion in our tradition

on this matter, the recital of the qaddish upon the father’s death would be appropriate and

should be beneficial.July 1984

If needed, please consult Abbreviations used in CCAR Responsa.