Yad

ARR 392-393

CCAR RESPONSA

American Reform Responsa

126. The Education Value of Yahrzeit

(Vol. XXIV, 1914, p. 153) The Yahrzeit as a permanent institution in connection with the recital of Kaddish appears first in Germany about the 14th century, but since it goes back to an ancient practice known in Talmudic literature (“Taanit beyom shemet bo aviv ve-imo,” Nedarim), and since its good influence is evident in manifold ways, I would strongly favor its retention as far as possible. In addition, as Chairman of the Committee, I would say that while much may be adduced in favor of the individual mourner’s rising for the Kaddish as the outflow of the soul, longing for comfort to be found in submission to God’s will, in conformity with tradition–there is also a consideration for, and a sense of sympathy with, the mourner expressed by the whole congregation rising for Kaddish, wherever it is introduced. The decision of this question must therefore be left to the congregation. In general, I would here refer to the ancient rabbinical dictum, “Mitoch shelo lishmah ba lishmah,” “A good practice, even if not done for its own sake, but for some less spiritual motive, should still be encouraged, since it may eventually lead to a more spiritual view,” because it applies to the so-called “Kaddish Jew,” who attends divine service only in honor of his dead parents. While religion is not merely piety, nevertheless, filial piety shown by the mourners may in the end lead to a more permanently religious attitude.K. Kohler and D. Neumark

If needed, please consult Abbreviations used in CCAR Responsa.

CARR 188-189

CCAR RESPONSA

Contemporary American Reform Responsa

**125. Yahrzeit for a Brother**

QUESTION:

An uncle has asked a young lady to recite qaddish upon the occasion of the

yahrzeit of her deceased brother. The brother died before the young lady was born. Is the

woman, according to tradition, required to observe this yahrzeit? (Rabbi H. Greenstein,

Jacksonville, FL)ANSWER: We must make a distinction here between mourning

and yahrzeit. Mourning is obligatory for eight relatives, father, mother, sister, brother,

son, daughter, husband and wife (Lev. 21.2; M. K. 20b; Shulhan Arukh Yoreh Deah 374.4

ff). This obligation does not, however, carry over to yahrzeit. Hazkarat neshamah

originally began as a way of honoring deceased teachers and was used only to commemorate

them. Eventually the memorial date was also used to recall parents (Ned. 12a; Sheb. 14a) and

this was usually connected with a fast. Yahrzeit, as we now know it with the

lighting of a candle, the recital of qaddish and fasting, was first mentioned by Isaac of

Tyrnau in the sixteenth century (Mordechai Jaffe, Levush Hatekhelet #133). It has

eventually become a very widespread custom (Shulhan Arukh Yoreh Deah 402.12). The

order of precedence among mourners for the recital of the qaddish at services has been

much discussed in Ashkenazic circles. When yahrzeit is included, it is always mentioned

as commemorating a mother or father. The obligation of reciting qaddish exists for

parents and not other members of the family. As with all matters connected with mourning and

yahrzeit, there has been a slow movement to include other members of the family,

especially through local customs. I am sure that the uncle in this family is thinking along those

lines. Although there is no obligation to recite qaddish on the yahrzeit

date for a brother or sister whom one knew, nor for a sibling who died before one’s birth, it is,

however, a worthy custom. It will continue the memory of the deceased and honor that

memory.September 1985

If needed, please consult Abbreviations used in CCAR Responsa.

NARR 331-332

CCAR RESPONSA

New American Reform Responsa

**207. Yahrzeit for a Non-Jew**

QUESTION: May an individual observe Yahrzeit for a non-Jewish leader in the community? The individual was very close to that person throughout life. (Richard Adler, Montreal Quebec)ANSWER: In the long periods of our history during which relationships between non-Jews and Jews were good, we frequently honored them. So, non-Jews were welcome to worship in the Temple (I Kings, 8.41 ff) and participated in its construction as did Hiram, King of Lebanon. Furthermore, non-Jewish sacrifices were acceptable (Meg 73b), as were gifts by pagans unless made with idolatrous intent (Ar 7b). Much later the famous Bevis Marks synagogue (1702) in London contained a roof beam which was the gift of Queen Anne. There was no mention of specific memorials requested with these gifts, but they were publicly acknowledged as the gift of non-Jews. So, gifts by non-Jews to the synagogue are acceptable as long as they are used in accordance with the desires of the congregation (Yad Hil Matnat Aniyim 8.8; Tur Yoreh Deah 258; Shulhan Arukh Yoreh Deah 254.2 and Isserles, 259.4). We were, of course, also obligated to bury the dead of non-Jews (Git 60a) and to deal with them in every way as Jews through the hevrah qadishah. The usual memorial prayers may be recited for non-Jews and this was done frequently through the ages. When a non-Jewish ruler who was good to our people died, we mourned him with the appropriate services and several such services from the last century have been preserved. As we honor the dead in these ways there would be nothing wrong with commemorating their Yahrzeit in the customary fashion.June 1989

If needed, please consult Abbreviations used in CCAR Responsa.

CARR 191

CCAR RESPONSA

Contemporary American Reform Responsa

128. Moving Date of

Yahrzeit

QUESTION: A family will be together approximately two

weeks before the yahrzeit for their father. They would, therefore, like to move the

yahrzeit and commemorate it two weeks early during this year. Is that permissible? (D. F.,

Pittsburgh, PA)ANSWER: The yahrzeit has become an honored and

established custom among Jews throughout the world. Its historic development and practices

have been dealt with elsewhere (W. Jacob, American Reform Responsa, #127). There

has been discussion about commemorating it on the day of death or burial, and tradition decided

that the day of death should be used, except in the first year. If that date is not known, then a

date may be arbitrarily set. However, the same date should be used in subsequent years

(Shulhan Arukh Orah Hayim 568.8; Maharil Responsa #7). A fair

amount of custom and halakhah have developed around the commemoration of

yahrzeit. All of it indicates that once the date has been fixed, it should not be arbitrarily

moved. The family in this instance should continue to commemorate the yahrzeit on the

appropriate date. There is, however, no reason for not doing something a few weeks earlier when

the family happens to be together. In fact, we would encourage that as the mobility of the present

day American Jewish community makes such family gatherings rare. The family should visit the

grave of their beloved father and attend a synagogue service together, as they normally would

on the yahrzeit; this should be done either on any day they are together or on a

shabbat when they are in the city. In this way, they will honor the memory of their father

as a family, but also not disturb the regular commemoration of yahrzeit from year to

year.March 1984

If needed, please consult Abbreviations used in CCAR Responsa.

CARR 190-191

CCAR RESPONSA

Contemporary American Reform Responsa

127. LEAP YEAR YAHRZEIT

OBSERVANCE

QUESTION: How is yahrzeit treated in a leap

year when there is a second month of Adar? What occurs if the person commemorated died in a

leap year during Adar II? What occurs if the person commemorated died during the First Adar in

an ordinary year? Is the yahrzeit shifted as the festival of Purim? (Rabbi R. B. Davenport,

IA)ANSWER: As yahrzeit has traditionally been observed by fasting, visiting

the grave, reciting qaddish, lighting a candle, studying Torah, giving to charity,

etc., there is considerable discussion on the matter of dates, not only in connection with the Adar

II, but also with a death that fell on Rosh Hodesh (see especially Abraham Gombiner to

Shulhan Arukh Orah Hayim 568.7; Sefer Hassidim #723; Shulhan Arukh

Yoreh Deah 220.8). One of the main problems over whether Adar I or Adar II should be used to

commemorate the dead is the tradition of reciting qaddish for eleven months for the

righteous. If it is recited for twelve months, that characterizes a person as wicked. Therefore,

Adar I is certainly used for yahrzeit in the first year, even if that year is a leap

year. In subsequent years yahrzeit would, according to Sephardic and some

other authorities, shift to Adar II whenever a leap year occurs (Bet Yosef to Tur 403;

Maharil Hilkhot Semahot; Mahari Weil Responsa #68; etc.). Caro, in

the above cited section of the Shulhan Arukh, stated that we move the yahrzeit

from Adar I to Adar II whenever a leap year occurs, but Isserles disagrees and leaves it in Adar I.

In other words, there is a conflict of minhag between the Mediterranean Jewish

community and that of Northern Europe. We also see that Jacob Mölln went one step

further and indicates that it should be commemorated both during Adar I and Adar II, which is

still done by some pious individuals. As Reform Jews, we would follow the Northern

European tradition and commemorate the yahrzeit in Adar I, if the death occurred in Adar

I, irrespective of whether the year was an ordinary year or leap year. If the death occurred in

Adar II, we would commemorate it in Adar II during leap years and in Adar I during ordinary

years.March 1984

If needed, please consult Abbreviations used in CCAR Responsa.

ARR 395-396

CCAR RESPONSA

American Reform Responsa

**128. Observance of Yahrzeit by a Widow Who Has Remarried**

(Vol. LXV, 1955, p. 90)QUESTION: As a consequence of the Korean War, one of our young women was left a widow. She has remarried since, and together with her husband attends services regularly. She desires to know whether she ought to observe the Yahrzeit of her first husband. It is the custom in our congregation to honor the memory of a loved one by rising for the kaddish, no matter what one’s relationship to the deceased deceased may have been -sister, cousin, or wife. ANSWER: The Rabbis regarded it as improper to offer condolences to a widower in his home when–because of certain exigencies–he had to remarry before the period of mourning was over; although one may properly whisper words of comfort to him on a chance encounter in the street (Yoreh De-a 385). This provision seems intended to legitimatize the natural desire to keep out of the new home life the unhappy memories of a previous union. Since the observance of the Yahrzeit–dictated in this instance by custom–is calculated to revive just such memories, we may conclude that its omission under the stated circumstances would be in full conformity with the intent of the Rabbinic regulation.Israel Bettan

If needed, please consult Abbreviations used in CCAR Responsa.